Saturday was my birfday. My mom (and dad) gave me a ring that I saw earlier in the year. I mentioned to my mother that I liked it, that I wanted to buy it, and she was like, “Or, you can just wait for it…” So, I did.
And then it was mine, on Saturday. The ring’s prominent feature is an anchor, facing sideways, linked with a rope-like band.
The ring is silver, which I tend to prefer to yellow gold. (Although, sure, yellow gold has its space, too). Anchors are the symbol for hope, arguably, just like a heart form is the symbol of love or a cross form is the symbol of faith. Anchors hold ships fast and solid, even if there’s a wicked storm a ragin’.
Last Saturday was also Holy Saturday and I went to the Vigil because it is my favorite, and the priest’s homily was all about hope and how the main intent of evil is to destroy hope but, nope, instead: Easter. Ha. And I looked at my ring and thought; I think that that’s a good theme for this year: hope.
I was talking to a friend who mentioned she’d like to integrate more prayer/ more reading of the scriptures in her life. And, you know what? Me, too. I need to integrate my prayer and Bible into my life.
Do you want to know something else? This entire week I’ve been scheduling my morning alarm incorrectly (and don’t ask me why, I have no idea). I usually wake up early and workout: yoga or Jillian Michaels or running or something. And this week I haven’t at all. I have barely exercised.
Do you want to know something else? I usually make good, wholesome food for myself, dicing and sautéing fresh veggies. And then I store frozen containers in the freezer and pull them out and have homemade food for lunch every day. EXCEPT NOT THIS WEEK. I ate all of my frozen meals, finished off my freezer days ago. Oops. Today for lunch I had noodles with hummus. Judge it hard.
So, on all of these levels then, spiritual/ physical/ nourishing…I’ve kind of been failing.
Now what? Well. Tonight I signed up to train at a local circus gym. Not much but, a start.
Yesterday I pulled out my prayer journal and wrote a page or so. Not much but, a start.
To me, this is what hope looks like: trying still, trusting still, even when all I can take are baby steps.
On Tuesday I drove to work and was stopped at a red light. A man, just ahead of me, ran across the intersection. He was holding coffee. Maybe (I couldn’t see exactly from the angle) he was carrying two coffees. And I thought to myself, “Isn’t that lovely?” and I wondered who he was buying coffee for and how they were friends and what inspired him to buy the coffee.
On Tuesday (because I fell behind making food) I bought myself lunch instead of eating in (this isn’t very common). But, I sat at the counter, looking out onto the street, and I ate fresh greens and dressing and avocado and…it was lovely.
On Wednesday I stopped in an urban drugstore because I needed to renew my passport photos. There was a man who stopped to help me. He was missing a few teeth, sure, but that didn’t stop his helpful smile. “Do you like this one?” He asked me, flipping the camera around after taking the second shot. “I think it’s great,” I said, looking. “Oh, OK,” he said, “because I can take another if you’d like.” “No, no,” I said, “That one is fine.” Because, it was fine, even though my hair is sticking out behind one ear and my light-ish sweater kind of washed me out. It’s fine because the point is to get a good picture of my face so I can clutch my passbook and take it to new places, new sites, new adventures. This, too, is an act of hope, I think.
Yesterday I folded clothes. And I refolded some shorts I took out recently. It is far from shorts weather here, but, I’m ready. This, too, is an act of hope.
Today, at noon, I went to mass. I was tired, really tired, and uninspired. But I applied myself to listen, and the priest talked about the fishermen-disciples, tired after working a long night with nothing to show. And Jesus is like, “Hi! Try new ways! Have new bursts of life!”…and that conversation changed their workplace. I thought it was cool.
So, anyway. Hope is a thing. And it’s a way of life, maybe. And it’s spring and Easter so it’s an apt time to introduce more hope into our lives. And, maybe I’ll just do my best. It doesn’t hurt to try. And I have this new ring to remind me. 🙂
***
Also, two quotes by G.K. Chesterson: “Every generation is converted by the saint who contradicts it most.” – G.K. Chesterton
“Fairy tales are more than true — not because they tell us dragons exist, but because they tell us dragons can be beaten.” –G.K. Chesteron paraphrased by Neil Gaiman
Ta da!! Maybe, today: be hopeful. Try hope. Try a singular, small act of hope where you most need it.
Luv,
N