Many times when I’m in the chapel, I’m not “praying”

“Praying” in quotes in the title.

So, I like hanging out in the chapel. I think you’re supposed to go there to pray. And I believe that most people are praying while they’re there.

I was taught that praying is “talking with God” and I really like praying, actually.

But I’ve notice something about my prayer life recently, and then I read something and I was like, “I shall tell the blog!”

And I even decided to illustrate using wire.

Which is a cool idea.

Except that I’m not exactly exceptionally talented at using wire.

Sorry. I did mah best.

It is a heart.

Before you go off judging, know that I based this off of the anatomical heart model, not the Hallmark model.

So, again:

Pretend like this is my heart, for now. This is what it’s supposed to look like. This is where I should be when I start out at that chapel.

But, I’m not.

I’m here:

Because I come with all kinds of worries, you see.

So, my heart, full of concerns and fears and worries, looks more like this:

Why, hello.

It’s a tense, stressed, tight place to be, is it not?

And then, just to take it a step further, I wound the heart with twine:

The twine represents the tension I carry in my shoulders, I guess. It represents my shortness of breath because I’m over here holding these worries and fears inside, carrying them around.

And this, my friends, is what my heart looks like in the adoration chapel.

When we start, at least.

And then I sit there.

Sometimes I pray through a rosary.

But then I usually just sit and sit and sit.

I’ve started appreciating a little bit of time…just to let my heart unwind.

This is what I feel my heart does in the adoration chapel; I feel like it begins to unwind.

And the longer I sit, the more I relax.

And the more I relax, the more sensitive I am to the presence of Jesus. And I look at Him and He looks at me.

And then we talk them through.

And He just tells me He loves me.

But it’s sometimes still a little squished.

So then I sit some more so that it can unwind some more.

This, my friends, is what I’ve been doing in the adoration chapel recently.

But, I have felt a little weird, truthfully, sitting like a lump on a pew. Everyone around me is whispering prayers and rustling pages and there I am, doing nothing…just sitting. Sitting and sitting.

I don’t even say things to God at first.

I literally just sit. Feet apart with a royal stare-down with the Eucharist.

But, then I was assigned to research something at work and I came across this bit of awesome from Pope Francis to the catechists:

I ask you: How do you abide in the presence of the Lord? When you visit the Lord, when you look at the tabernacle, what do you do? Without speaking… “But I speak, I talk, I think, I meditate, I listen…” Very good! But do you let yourself be looked at by the Lord? Letting ourselves be gazed upon by the Lord. He looks at us and this is itself a way of praying. Do you yourselves be gazed upon by the Lord? But how do you do this? You look at the tabernacle and you let yourselves be looked at… it is simple! “It is a bit boring, I fall asleep”. Fall asleep then, sleep! He is still looking at you. But know for sure that he is looking at you!

🙂

Do you like that as much as I do?

“Do you let yourself be looked at my the Lord? He looks at us and this is itself a way of praying.”

Another smile. 🙂

I’m heading out to the chapel right now.

Maybe we’ll talk. Maybe we won’t.

Probably I’ll just sit there and let my heart unwind.

Take some time, sometime, and let your heart unwind.