Weird things about sleeping

Y’all, I get writer’s block like the best of us. So I’m going to tell you 10 things about sleeping, in an effort to reach a couple hundo words in the next few minutes. Also, if you couldn’t guess…I’m a little tired. 🙂

Go me.

1. There is a neighborhood I live in only in my dreams. It is very, very similar to the neighborhood where I live now, only, it has some distinct differences (the streets are similar, the houses are different).

This is only weird because, often, in my dreams, I live in that neighborhood, and I’m not sure of the original place that stamped my subconscious so deeply, but, also…I can’t get away from it.

2. When I sleep, I either sleep in the position of a corpse laid to rest (hands folded mid-ribcage) or of a human trying to survive the cold, i.e., fetal position, with my hands either wedged between my knees for warmth, or clutching my biceps with my arms crossed.

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I actually rarely sleep on my stomach.

3. I enjoy traveling because I enjoy meeting new people, exploring new places, trying new foods, and learning new things.

Also, I have discovered that I enjoy sleeping on airplanes.

Part of this is because my illusion of control is gone when I am on an airplane. I know that I can do nothing for the plane if it hits turbulence or the pilot has a heart attack or if the wings fall off the plane…and, oddly, this comforts me. I can sleep like a li’l baby on every flight, because I know that everything is someone else’s problem.

4. My favorite part of the flight is the takeoff, because I love the feeling in my chest.

But, often, I’m so relaxed by that point, that I’m literally asleep in the chair already.

You can hate me. I’m asleep by takeoff. And I don’t even take drugs for this.

(Once, I little-bit woke up and the people next to me were like, “She had to have taken drugs to fall asleep this hard” LITTLE DO THEY KNOW I’M JUST GOOD LIKE THAT).

5. I try to sleep 8 hours a night. I realize that this is a privilege of not having babies or restless leg syndrome or insomnia–and I really, really, really feel for anyone who who is sleep-deprived, because whenever I have a rough night’s sleep, I always feel grouchy in the morning, so kudos to everyone who faces that every day. You’re a champion.

6. When I was younger I used to wonder if I would get enough sleep in college. Spoiler alert: I usually did, even though I worked while going to school. Thus: my fears were unfounded.

I oft wonder if I’ll ever have kids, and how I’ll function with no sleep. Then I wonder if these fears will be unfounded, too.

I kind of doubt I’ll have the same kind of luck the second time around.

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Dude, these breads look so cuddly.

7. I once read a study that said that most people rate their sleep way worse than it actually is. I.e. scientists hooked a bunch o’ folks up to machines and stuff and recorded how they slept and how their brains waved and what not, and then they asked the folks to rate their night’s sleep and everyone was like, “Oh, worst night ever, blah blah blah” but the scientists were like, “Well, actually, the readings say you slept decently well” and this study oft comforts me when I think I’ve had a bad night’s sleep.

Maybe this is placebo optimism, I don’t know.

If placebo optimism is a thing, I might have that.

8. I get super cold when I sleep, so I have a slew of blankets on my bed. Besides wearing pajama shirt/ pants (actually: active-wear for the morning workout) I also wear a hat to bed. And a sweater. And socks. Sometimes a scarf. Last week I wore a down vest a couple of times.

I’m probably the weakest link, evolutionary speaking.

9. Once, when I was in high school, I listened to a group of religious sisters talk about their day. The mother superior described everything and was like, “And then we collapse into bed and wake up the next morning to do it all over again” and I was like, “Geez, that sounds exhausting and awful.”

But, now I kind of do the same collapse-into-bed thing, and I think about that religious sister with solidarity.

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Enter a caption

10. Once, for a psychology class in college, we were required to record our dreams. I thought it was going to be the stupidest exercise, but also, I did it (because I am a dedicated student like that), and it turned out to be super insightful (I dream about Nazis when I’m overwhelmed, it turns out. When the golden retriever shows up, I feel responsible for someone). I’ve thought about doing this again, just for kicks and giggles…but, I never have.

11. Before I go to bed, my brain likes to remind me of all the stupid things I have ever done in my life. I’m not sure why my brain finds this necessary.

31-scumbag-brain-at-night-humor

12. I’m more tired in the winter than in the summer. The sunlight gives me energy. Maybe I am half-plant. I should do a DNA test.

13. One of my favorite life-hacks is that, for years (until this summer, actually), I had a terrible mattress. But, literally everywhere I went, they had a better mattress than me. So, I always slept great at every cheap hotel I visited. Not sure if this is actually winning, but, I’ll take it.

Ta da!!

 

Give me the next prompt and you’ll win a prize.

JK. We have no prizes here.

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