Sixteen fast facts

…about my life.

1. 1. 1. I broke my nose last Saturday, an accident involving someone’s elbow and the bridge of my nose at a party. I was dancing and the exuberant appendage hit me at an inopportune angle, I tasted blood, and, there you have it. I probably won’t die, and the pain has significantly lessened.
      2. The weirdest part is that I started sneezing a lot for the days following. Like, fifteen times every time I laid down or stood up. Super weird.
      3. It wasn’t that bad of a break, so reconstructive surgery on the nose probs won’t be necessary if we keep crossing our fingers and wishing on stars.
      4. The crazy thing is that it was in the middle of this crazy, crazy week at work. This is the Day of the Dead week, and I work at a Hispanic parish, so there were soooo many Spanish classes who came to check out our ofrenda and hear the stories and stuff. Plus families looking for fun. And here I am, with a broken nose and a mild concussion and 1500 people looking for guidance.
      5. On day #3 of broken-nose, in the middle of high-pain, I told off a group of high school boys. First time in my life I have reprimanded a tour group, and I was really surprised I did it. I think the boys were, too. Maybe Jesus was, too, I don’t know. The teachers were embarrassed, too. They wouldn’t make eye contact with me.
      6. I have an unhealthy prayer that I pray called, “Hey, Jesus-let’s-see-how-you-will-sustain-me-this-week,” and I feel like the busiest-of-weeks at work plus broken nose kind of marked a new level for us, there.
      7. Do you want to hear another cool prayer I learned this week? From boss-man St. Philip Neri, “Watch me, O Lord, this day; for, abandoned to myself, I shall surely betray thee.”
         THE. SAINTS, MAN.
      8. Anyway, the work week went as well as could be expected. I tried this new thing where people could come on a tour of the church “After Dark” and I told them some of my favorite spooky saint stories and stuff.
      9. Things went well, but, I’m tired, friends. Tired and broken.
      10. Literally.
      11. Anyway!! This party (of broken nose) was a Halloween party, hosted by my broseph, so I knew I needed a good costume because I’m in it to win it, fam. Only, I knew I had set the bar high for myself. Last year my sister and I were high fashion food, and I slayed in the high fashion taco department. Like, an epic-ly good looking taco. If I do say so myself. And the year before that my brother and I were Peter Pan and Peter Pan’s SHADOW so what I’m saying is we have set the bar high for ourselves here, okay??
      12. So, the week before I’m thinking about this party and what I should be and all this. And, the thing is, a good costume has to be creative and relevant to the crowd of people you’ll be partying with, okay? So, I was thinking about all of this, and like, “Well, Trump is on the news all the time, but I’m not exactly feeling that…” and then I thought that (a) this is a Catholic crowd and (b) the big news in the local Catholic world is the beatification of a man named Father Solanus Casey, and I knew I already had a fake beard in the basement, by golly.
      13. I texted my friend about this. She messaged back, “Honestly? YOLO.”
          I messaged my sister. She was like, “LOL, okay?”
          I thought about messaging this older-brother priest I found, but, before I could (because I was scared) he sent me AN EMOJI OF SAID PRIEST AND I WAS LIKE,
          “GOD IS THAT YOU? THINE CHILD BE LISTENING.”
          So then a trip to the fabric store on Saturday morning and I was ready
          to make a costume, yo.
      14. In true Nell-fashion, I finish this outfit with, like, not much time left to spare. And then I got out the bald wig. And put it on. And my mom was like, “Oh, geez.”
      15. So, I go to this party, right?
          And I walk in and all of these people silently stare at me, so I give ’em a gentle Sign of the Cross, and they all are like, “FATHER! SOLANUS! CASEY!”
          But what I didn’t realize is that no one knew who I was underneath this beard and baldy cap.
          Like, I’d wave at my friends, and they’d give me a polite wave back.
          Even my brother, when he came to the party, politely shook my hand before five minutes later he was like, “Nell???? IS THAT YOU???”
          And then, hours later people were like, “Hello? I. Had. No. IDEA!”
          So, anyway, that was 100% the first time I was something that disguised my very person…and it was weird.
          (Also weird is that I use my hair a lot, apparently, when I dance. And this time I had a bald li’l head.)
      16. And, in case you were wondering…I won first place in the costume contest. The end. Happiness all around.