That last weekend, when I was driving out to the farmhouse, something 100% true and 72% spooky/ 18% funny happened to me AND IT’S HALLOWEEN SO HERE WE GO.
I left my office after work, ready to head out. I drove east for a bit, stopping at a store off of the highway to grab some food supplies. Lauren called me before I got in the car, we talked about meeting in a few hours.
I was the one who had made the reservations. I used airbnb. From the looks of things, we would be staying in a farmhouse halfway-ish between where they live and where I live, and at a reasonable (“cheap”) price. Add a functioning kitchen and the decision was made. We’d be staying at a farmhouse.
I had never seen this farmhouse before, neither had they. Small matters. The internet exists and we have smartphones.
I set my smartphone option to “maps” and followed the highway, as instructed. About forty minutes away from my destination, I was instructed to turn off of the highway.
Forty minutes seemed like a long time, but I made the turn. And another turn. And another turn.
It was getting dark fast and my phone was dying. Luckily, I rifled through my arm-rest compartment and found the charger as the night settled all around me.
At this point I was weaving through the two-lane highways, up and down and around roads I had never driven. Whoosh whoosh whoosh.
A few weeks ago, a few of my friends destroyed their car after they hit a deer, so I was leery of deer-y things in the dark. I tried to find my brights, but since I haven’t really ever used them, so I couldn’t figure out how to get them to stay on, I was required to hold my brights on as I drove–ten miles on this country road, 15 miles on that one.
It struck me that I was very, very far from the highway. Without my phone I would be very, very lost.
I fearfully wondered if I had the right address.
Up and down the country roads, whoosh whoosh whoosh. Sometimes someone would be behind me, and that fear that only exists on country roads at night of “GOOD GOLLY, I DO BELIEVE THEY ARE FOLLOWING ME” would set in. *pant pant pant*
Lauren called–they had arrived. My phone said I was about 10 minutes away, I told her and hung up.
My phone called to me, “You’re approaching your destination.”
“Your destination is within 200 feet.”
“Your destination is on the right.”
I squinted my eyes. Ahead I saw a clearing in the trees, and thought, “That must be the driveway,” so I turned of my brights and pulled into the clearing.
I didn’t see any buildings, so I tried to make out any shapes in the dark.
Then I realized…I was in a cemetery. A CEMETERY.
“You have reached,” my phone said, “your final destination.”
“I DIDN’T COME HERE TO DIE!” I shouted at my phone, and pulled out my email, trying to see where I had gone wrong, which address number I had entered incorrectly. Frantic, frantic hopes for wifi in place. *pant pant pant*
But then I was like, “This is 100% not the place I should be doing this. This is now horror movies go. Someone is going to pop out of one of these gravestones and stab me.” So I started driving, looking at my phone, hoping no one would drive around the corner and hit me.
And you might be laughing now, but it’s scary when you’re lost, alone, and in the dark, OK?!?!?
It turns out, the farmhouse was next door and I had overshot by one driveway.
And the next day we visited again and looked at the graves and it wasn’t scary, it was a really nice cemetery full of people who are probably just lovely and kind. And then we laughed about the whole thing.