CELEBRITY INTERVIEW. With Noah.

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I needed to make some pies for a birthday party tomorrow. Noah messaged me, “Hey, when are you making those pies?” and then came over and helped me make 2 of them and also brought over his cornstarch and also agreed to a celeb interview!

Pre-question: What are you most known for?

Ummmmmm. *thinks* Probably my ability to cook/ dance. But some people don’t know about that one (the dancing).

1. If you could have lunch with anyone from a fantasy novel, who would you pick? Animals-only. Also, why that one?

Ummmm. Probably the Taggarung from the Red Wall series. It’s a otter. ‘Cause he was super dope. He seems like a fun person to talk to, from the book.

2. Has science gone too far?

Yes. 100%.

3. Do you have any low key superpowers?

*clears throat*

*clicks pen*

Uhm. I don’t know. Not sure.

4. Who has been your favorite teacher?

I had this one teacher from when Naomi and me were at a co-op, Mr. [name withheld] he was really old and he rambled a lot and I actually don’t think I learned anything from any of his classes.

5. What, in your opinion, is one of the most underrated flavors?

Vanilla. Everyone thinks it’s boring but it’s one of the most complex flavors out there. Also it goes into every single baked good ever made.

6. What is your favorite conspiracy theory?

Mmmmm. That’s a big one. I think the lizard people because it kind of encapsulates everything. No matter how big or small the conspiracy theory, it somehow goes back to the lizard people.

7. If you were a cookie, what kind would you be?

Probably a rice crispy treat. Just because those are my favorite.

Also, I’m kind of white and fat, and so it’s like…

8. What is something about you that surprises people?

I think my ability to cook and dance is always a shocker, especially if someone doesn’t know.

9. Who has changed the way you look at the world?

Wow. These are mad-deep questions.

Me: It’s a celebrity interview.

I don’t know if there’s anyone specific who has changed the way I see things but, everyone once in a while, someone will say something that hits my head like, “Whoa” and then it makes me think.

10. What is the best gift someone has ever given you? In the past five years.

Well, two of my friends, some sisters, gave me some wall art for my house.

Me: You can’t pick that.

Well, they are pretty cool.

11. What is going to be the hit song of the summer? Not on the radio, just for you.

I’ll have to see what I’ve been listening to.

Christine: I’ll tell you what’s on mine *sings Cheerleader*

Noah: You just heard that?

Christine: *Nods*

Noah: *Looks on phone* “Gospel Plow” by the Appalachian String Band.

Christine: Can you tell me, what is the point of this? Chill you out?

Noah: Kind of sultry, kind of gospel-y, kind of blue grass-y. It just hits me. The way I figure out what kind of music I like, I just listen to it and see what I like and follow it. But, yeah, it’s chill.

12. What advice do you most often give your youngest siblings?

Definitely depends on the sibling. They all have their own things that stress me out. For my two older-younger siblings it’s: go to daily mass.

13. What is your platform on pickles?

Kosher–> all day long.
Bread and butter–> garbage.

Me: You don’t like bread and butter pickles?

Noah: Sweet pickles are for the devil.

14. Who is your role model and why? (Or one of them).

There’s this guy on youtube I’ve been following for a while, he does comedy, but he never uses his platform for money, and he’s always super interactive with his fans. He seems like one of the few honest celebrities out there. Plus he has great hair. Olan Rogers. O-L-A-N.

15. What kinds of things do you not like to do?

I don’t like to put my laundry away. I kind of don’t like the idea of going to parties, but then I go to them and have a good time, but the idea of going to them and being with people kind of stresses me out a little bit.

16. What do you most like to do in your free time?

Cook.

Best recipe?

Mmmmm. One that is a go-to right now when I need something is coconut curry.

17. Who, in your opinion, is one of the best men that you know and why?

I think I have a lot of really good dudes in my life, but I’d probably say Dylan (brother) because he’s my next-oldest brother and I’ve always looked up to him. Super solid Catholic, super older dude, and now he’s a super solid husband and father.

18. What article of clothing do you own that doesn’t really “match” the rest of you/ your wardrobe/ it kind of doesn’t fit in, but you still keep it?

I have, like, well, twenty t-shirts that I don’t wear because they don’t fit me, but I can’t get rid of them because they’re nostalgic. But, maybe that’s most of my wardrobe, I just kind of go for it.

19. What is your favorite scent?

I really like that, um, vanilla hand soap scent, because my aunt would always have it at her house and I would have it when hanging out with my cousin. Kind of a nostalgia thing.

20. If tomorrow was your birthday, who would you most like to receive a singing telegram from on your front lawn at 5 a.m.?

Noah: Wait, like, I extend it to someone?

Me: No, like, they’re singing it.

Noah: Oh. Probably Shakira.

Christine: *laughs* OH THE VISUAL. SHAKIRA AT THE QUAD.

Noah: “Shakira, Shakira, Shakira”

Christine: *laughs more*

Noah: But, someone would need to announce her. …like…James.

Bonus question: What would you tell middle school you?

I feel like, in middle school, I was not that dramatic or over-the-top, like, I was pretty okay with being a kid. So, I look back on myself and say, “Hey, good job on not being too extra.”

Maybe just: “Keep being a kid…..

“IT’S ALL GONNA BE TAKEN AWAY.”

Me: Thank you for your time and attention to this matter.

Noah: *nods thoughtfully*

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A wild Noah appears in its natural habitat. 

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